The Story of My Misfortunes by Pierre Abélard

Benedict! Methinks the same reason which led the saint to abandon his wicked sons might encourage me to follow the example of so great a father, lest, in thus exposing myself to certain peril, I might be deemed a rash tempter of God rather than a lover of Him, nay, lest it might even be judged that I had thereby taken my own life. how often have they tried to kill me with poison, even as the monks sought to slay St. The violence of my enemies I see in the danger to my body if I leave the cloister but within it I am compelled incessantly to endure the crafty machinations as well as the open violence of those monks who are called my sons, and who are entrusted to me as their abbot, which is to say their father. Nay, the persecution carried on by my sons rages against me more perilously and continuously than that of my open enemies, for my sons I have always with me, and I am ever exposed to their treacheries. 5), and these torture me ceaselessly, the fears being indeed without as well as within, and the fightings wheresoever there are fears. I have already said that 'without were fightings, within were fears' (II Cor.

I am driven hither and yon, a fugitive and a vagabond, even as the accursed Cain (Gen. All this was of the utmost benefit to me in body and soul, and it was equally essential for them by reason of their weakness.īut now has Satan beset me to such an extent that I no longer know where I may find rest, or even so much as live. There, indeed, could I draw breath for a little in quiet, and among them my labours were fruitful, as they never were among the monks. And since now the persecution carried on by my sons was greater and more incessant than that which I formerly suffered at the hands of my brethren, I returned frequently to the nuns, fleeing the rage of the tempest as to a haven of peace. Furthermore, in order that they might have the greater reverence for me, I arranged to watch over them in person.

REFLECTING often upon all these things, I determined to make provision for those sisters and to undertake their care in every way I could. Henry Adams Bellows,, at ĬHAPTER XV OF THE PERILS OF HIS ABBEY AND OF THE REASONS FOR THE WRITING OF THIS HIS LETTER The Story of My Misfortunes, by Peter Abelard, tr. Of the Perils of His Abbey and of the Reasons for the Writing of This His Letter

The Story of My Misfortunes by Pierre Abélard